we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
