I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
