Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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