His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
