then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
