some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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