I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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