So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
