He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
