My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
