I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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