Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
