We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize