I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
