I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
