at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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