So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
