so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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