he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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