I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
