A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
