Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
