sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize