You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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