I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
jump out the window naked night went bad
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