Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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