Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just google imaged poop.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
