I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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