i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
