How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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