lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
