She said her name was "party"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
