That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
