Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
