We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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