Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
