rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
