well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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