I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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