I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
