DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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