I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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