so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
