How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
