what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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