My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
