: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i want to swaddle you in tequila
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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