k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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