Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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