I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
