And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
this just has baby written all over it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
