with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
