Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
