That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
