So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize