epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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