also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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