Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i wish my penis had a tongue
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
