i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just googled if crying burns calories
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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