he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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