i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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