Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
